Today I was going to talk about one of the caterers Jason and I are considering hiring for the reception. I was going to talk about the food options and tasting I’ve scheduled for the week after we get home. Instead, I’m going to talk about an issue a friend of mine recently experienced, and which I have read about on the forums here.
One of my very good friends is getting married in mid-August. Today she posted an update about her frustration with certain people complaining about their children not being invited to her wedding. Her invitations were addressed to the people she was inviting. Even so, these people still complained when they heard those three words many parents find offensive: No kids allowed.
I can understand a parent’s frustration with not being able to bring their children; after all, babysitters can be expensive for a tight budget, their children are actually very well-behaved (or can be) in the right circumstances, they don’t like to be away from the kids. But, pushing that frustration onto a friend or family member who has invited that person to share in one of the most important moments of their lives is beyond rude.
When a couple sends an invitation to someone they hope to have join them on their special day, it is not OK to complain about the restrictions that couple has enacted. IT’S THEIR WEDDING.
As it so happens, my friend and her fiancée decided to have a small, intimate ceremony and reception. That means that space is limited and there’s not much room for extra little bodies. Instead of fussing about why their perfect children were not allowed, these people should be congratulating the couple.
For Jason and I, we are having our reception/ceremony at a venue large enough to accommodate a slightly larger guest list. We have quite a few friends with kiddos and have included them in our list.
If you receive an invitation to someone’s wedding and it’s not addressed to each member of your family, they are more than likely not invited. Before going off the handle, stop and think. Practice good etiquette. Contact the bride or groom and ask for clarification. If your little cherubs are in fact not invited, you don’t need to be insolent–take it with a grain of salt. Remember that it’s not about you or even your kids necessarily; it’s about the bride and groom. There are a myriad of reason why they might be saying “no kids allowed.” Most likely it’s budgetary restraints.
On the bride/groom side of things, if you do not intend to invite kids (or certain kids), you should not list them on the formal invitation. You should refrain from adding “and family” at the end of an invite. This even includes Save-The-Dates (as the family will assume that if you sent the announcement to the entire family, the entire family is also invited to the weeding).
For all of you brides(to be) out there, hold firm to your budget and your guest list. Remember that, even though they are your friend or family member, you don’t need to cater to their demands. Smile and try to shrug it off. You’re getting married! Now, smile again.