I neglected to post a Mommy Milestone on Monday because I actually started back to work on Monday. I’m thankful for my boss (both bosses really [my VP is great], but my Editor in Chief is truly the bee’s knees) because she has been so accommodating. She’s been kind enough to work around our Tucker schedule (as in… he doesn’t really have one and my work hours are now quite sporadic at best).
Regardless of how accommodating my office has been, the fact of the matter is that Tucker is unpredictable. On Tuesday he slept 2-3 hours every hour or two. On Wednesday and Thursday, this wasn’t the case and I really had to scramble to make my deadline on Thursday, 5:30 pm.
In this case, Jason, my wonderful and amazing husband, took control of the baby and whisked him away (after he woke up from a much-needed 3-hour nap) yesterday afternoon/evening so I could make my deadline.
In addition to stressing about work, I’ve been stressing about Tucker in general. He’s 4 weeks today, and while we had a rough beginning, things are mellowing (albeit somewhat slowly). The newest thing to cause both (or all) of us stress is Tucker’s odd nursing behavior. At first I thought it was nipple confusion on account of him needing to be bottle fed for the first few days while he was in the NICU. And to be honest, we probably started using/continued to use bottles too soon before breastfeeding was established completely, but he does the same thing with his bottles too.
The behavior: Tucker will attempt to latch, and even if the nipple is in his mouth, he roots around, gets pissed that he can’t find it, and starts to cry. OR he has latched, but pulls off within seconds, and then he tries to latch again, only to get frustrated while doing the same thing mentioned above. It’s super frustrating to him, but to me as well… to the point where I end up tearing up or all out crying. Babies are hard work. In the back of my head is the constant: how have I f***ed him up already/ how will I inevitably f*** him up in the (near) future. We’re meeting with a lactation consultant on Monday before my 4-week post op appointment with my OB-Gyn.
This week’s victory goes more to my husband for being superman.