Why Does Normal Feel Strange?

Yesterday THe little man was pretty quiet. I had been working several hours at my desk, sitting in my very uncomfortable chair, so I figured he was just sleeping.

I took note before falling asleep that I hadn’t felt him moving as much as I had been for the last several weeks. At some point during the night I needed to turn over, and oddly, it didn’t hurt as much to do so.

For the last two or so weeks, my pelvis has been sore. The pain has radiated to my hips and lower back, but mostly it’s centralized in my pelvic floor. I talked to be doctor about it last week and he said it was normal, during this stage of my pregnancy, for the pelvis to begin widening. This functions to, in about 12.5 weeks, allow THe baby to pass through the cervix during labor.

Last night, however, when it didn’t hurt nearly as much to turn over, it roused me a bit more from my sleep. I also felt less constriction in my abdomen. It felt like…normal. Normal in the pre-pregnancy sense of the word. This started a panic running through me. I got up and didn’t feel the need to roll out of bed, but was able to sit up fairly easily. Touching my belly, I really started to freak out when it felt softer than it had in MONTHS. This, coupled with his lack of movement the day before, sent me to the bathroom and google.

It was about 5am by this point. After using the bathroom and not seeing any blood–a sign of danger any pregnant woman knows–I searched google.

A little aside here:

Early on in this pregnancy, in late February actually (around week 8 or so), we were panicked by some heavy bleeding. I had, the week before, just confirmed my pregnancy with our GP and made the appointment with the OB. Now, the OB doesn’t like to see new pregnancies until after week 10, and we had also just switched to a new insurance policy for me to cover the maternity care I would need. I had one day with a little spotting which I took to be implantation bleeding and lasted one bathroom visit.

A week later, we were having my brother and parents over for dinner. This was the dinner I had planned on sharing the news with my parents that they would be grandparents in October. As I was straightening up before they arrived, I felt the urge to “visit the bathroom” (I’m trying to keep the over-sharing at a minimum here). This is when I saw a large amount (for me and for being pregnant) of dark blood. My throat dropped to my stomach and I wanted to cry. After sharing this with Jason, we hoped it would stop after that first instance. We continued on with our preparations.

I felt odd now about telling my parents. I didn’t want to tell them and miscarry all in the same day.

I did end up telling them we were expecting and they were ecstatic. Half-way through dinner, I went back to the bathroom: more blood, just as dark. At this point I was really scared.

I had to tell them. My mom was great. She was calm and asked if I wanted her to call my uncle (he’s a doctor). Actually, she suggested that I call him, but I told her it would be easier if she called.

My uncle was happy to hear that we were expecting, and suggested bed rest for a few days. Over the course of the next few days, I was terrified to move. I stayed in bed for about 4 days. I kept track of how many days I was bleeding and how heavy. After the 4th day, there was no more blood. But this experience affected me so greatly that I check for blood every time I go to the bathroom. I’ve been THAT paranoid for the last 5 months.

Back to last night:

After checking for blood, I visited google and searched “feeling normal during pregnancy” which didn’t tell me anything really. Then I searched “decreased fetal movement at 28 weeks” and found that before calling my doctor, I should try eating something and subsequent to that, lay down.

I ventured into the kitchen, noticing that we forgot to put away last night’s dinner (pretty sure the kittens had a nice treat of scrambled eggs), and ate a handful of almonds. I went back to bed, laid down, and waited. When nothing happened instantly, I continued my freak out.

Sitting up and feeling my belly again didn’t ease my concern. It was still pretty soft. At this point, about 530, I made Jason wake up. I also started to cry, telling him how I didn’t feel pregnant anymore. My stomach felt soft, it didn’t hurt as much to move, and THe baby hadn’t moved in what seemed like ages.

Rational Jason tried to calm me down. He rubbed my belly, telling me I still felt pretty pregnant. After telling him what I learned from google about eating and laying down, he said that I needed to give it a little more time than the 5 minutes I had.

“Babies don’t just disappear.” He said.

“Unless the aliens took him.” I replied.

“Do you remember any dreams about being abducted?”

“No.”

See, rational, right?

Thus we concluded that THe baby was still in there because there was no “proof” of my being abducted by what the boys from Southpark call “Visitors.”

Laying back down, I finally started to feel something. Movement! And he was moving a lot, Jason even got to feel him for the second time. And boy, oh boy was THe baby moving. I’m assuming to reassure me, he kicked and wiggled for about 35 minutes.

Since then, my belly as returned mostly to MY normal: firm and hard. My pelvis is once again sore and it is difficult to move, although not as difficult as the last week.

Some return to normal is welcomed, but sudden body changes are always going to freak me out.

I’m feeling our regular movements even now–mostly bubbles with some good kicks thrown in there sporadically.

**Question: What freaks you out when it comes to your body, especially during pregnancy?**